Being a Relationship Counselor I can easily state that according to some recent studies, around 60% of marriages are found to end up in a divorce.
This is more so in the developed countries.
What might be the reason?
If you think about it, almost 90% of relationship problems occur due to the lack of proper communication between the two individuals involved.
No matter how capable you are of handling your relationship problems, once in a while all of us run out of ideas and may find our long healthy relationship in danger. We may get exhausted of having to deal with the same unchanged person again and again.You both may get really frustrated and may feel like yelling at each other.
So, what can you do about it?
How can things be settled in an amicable way?
Here is where a relationship counselor enters.
How Can A Relationship Counselor Help?
The basic duty of a counselor is to start a healthy discussion between both parties and find an amicable solution to the problems.
Now you might be thinking what magic this so called “relationship counselor” can perform with your life. It is indeed a fact that many couples are capable of improving their situation without the interference of a third party. But, still think twice before you completely dismiss the idea of hiring a relationship counselor. This is because you will get an opportunity to gain some outside perspective on the whole matter by letting a counselor to deal with it. Apart from that, such a therapy also creates a safe environment where you can air out your worries and frustrations without any fear or interruption.So, now let us see how a relationship counselor can help you stay in a relationship.
Basically, a relationship counselor is a person who has got a formal training in dealing with a wide variety of issues which may cause problems in a marriage or relationship.
Some of these common issues are:
- Lack of communication and intimacy in the relationship
- Financial problems
- Infertility
- Mental or physical illness of the parties involved
- Alcohol or drug abuse
- Infidelity
A Relationship Counselor Can Be Of Help In Any Of These Cases
All these are very serious problems which can cause a relationship to break up eventually. Let us see how a good relationship counselor tackles these problems. First of all the counselor will make sure that each spouse, or each party involved in the relation, is provided with a chance to share their feelings without judgment from the other. Then, the counselor talks to the couple and tries to find a possible solution to the issues prevailing between them. If needed, additional services like individual therapy may also be recommended.
Also bear in mind that there are certain things to be kept in mind before selecting a relationship counselor. Suppose you believe that your problems are caused by some illness like depression which you think your spouse is suffering from, the best option for you will be to see a psychiatrist who will be more qualified in diagnosing and treating such a medical condition. On the other hand, if you want to solve the issues in a religious manner a pastor will be an ideal choice.
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I have been in a relationship for 5 years then my partner left to his country for 4 years .I got involved with someone,when he came back i was still busy with that person.I then chase him away,i really regret my actions. He is now in a new relationship with another woman. This is hurting me so badly.
I went back to him and apologies,he told me to give him time. I dont like the idea because anything can happen during that period. For instance the girlfriend can get pregnant and this will make matter to be worse.
We have a 8year old together and she love his father so much .
Is he in touch with the child?
If so, can you make one of his visits really special?
Something that would move him emotionally?
Give this a thought…
I was in an almost 1 year relationship. My longest relationship. During those time it seem like we were in a fight a lot, he would snoop thru my phone, get mad if I spent to much time with my family/friends, If I wasn’t home at 6 I should of called and said I would be late. Just a lot of things. Stupid me I tried to give him another chance…. thinking he would change. He said rude things to me ” you will never find someone who fits your criteria, if you get lasik surgery- hope you don’t go blind” Told me I am living an old fashion high school relationship that all relationship are you snoop thru phones and partners are okay, you give out email, facebook passwords- so that you can trust… Am I wrong? Is this every relationship is suppose to be?
I have a girlfriend who doesn’t understand how much time my schooling demands of me. She thinks I don’t love her, but I constantly tell her I do. I tell her that I am seriously busy and work is endless. I tell her that she needs to trust me and ride out that storm till I can finally see her, but nothing I do seems to work. I feel I can’t manage my time any better. I really like her thigh. What can I do to save our relationship?
It is hard to tell…. There are so many factors that could affect your relationship…
Things like ‘what does she do in her everyday life’? Can she relate to your situation?… and more.
Try explaining patiently …
I really like her though.* hahaha
Me and my boyfriend have been going through a rough place recently. It all started when I found out he was looking at porn behind my back and then he lied about it when I asked him about it. After that, I’ve had issues trusting him. 2 weeks later, he lies about drinking and I accidentally found out about that one. Now I’m having trust issues with him and I’m getting extremely jealous over any other female who he happens to look at or work with. What can I do to work on trusting him again and getting rid of this overwhelming jealousy?
Dear Overly Concerned,
Try to communicate. Find a quite moment and open up to him. Tell him about your concerns and how it makes you feel.
Don’t get into arguments, just talk… quietly…
I am currently in a relationship that i have been in for a year and three months, i am pregnant with his child and i have a two year old from another man. My boyfriend now does not show me any kind of love unless he wants sex. He does not help me do anything, he does not even do the trash or clean after himself. he is always gone at his friends or at his four hour job. He is constantly texting someone as soon as he wakes up and he takes me for granted. he expects me to pick him up when hes ready and he expects me to do everything for him period. He did not use to be like this and our relationship use to be better, a lot better. He always thinks im cheating on him and i give no reason at all to make him think that. i recently found out he was watching porn and it was like insest porn. I am very miserable but when we argue and i tell him to leave and i am dead serious, he just stays and then leaves to his friends and comes back and acts like nothing happened. He said that i am stuck with him. I love and care for him to death but i feel that there is not even a relationship there at all…i need help please. he will not talk to anyone about anything and he will not talk to a counselor. he will not even talk to me without arguing.
Hi,
It seems you are in some kind of an abusive relationship.
The way he keeps ignoring your obvious misery… He seems to go on about his own life without actually making space for you in them…
I would like you to go visit this post about Abusive Relationship and hope this could help.
I av been dating my girl for 2years,when I was asking her out,my friend and I slept with her cus we were all drunk,I felt Really bad cus I wanted to date her.I apologized to her then we started dating afterwards.I did not take her serious cus I thought she was a flirt.I was cheating on her while she was loving me so much.I later realized she was not who I thought she was.I started loving her and our relationship got really serious.after sometime, she cut me red handed with a girl in my house,she was so heartbroken.I felt really bad and I cried so much.that day changed me and I vowed never to cheat on her again.she forgave me and we continued dating cus we loved each other so much.we hav had ups and downs but yet our love was still strong,jst last week I noticed that she was been secretive abt somting,later I now found out she has cheated on me with two guys,I was shocked and devastated. We had a fight whic lead to us almost breaking up.now we are having serious issue of trust and we are confused where this relationship heading but we still love each other so much.please how can we go about this issue cus am confused.
Dear Fabulous,
The relationship you have with your girl kinda started off on the wrong route… and it keeps getting complicated…
If you could only communicate and share your feelings for each other it would gradually make things clearer.
How old are you both?
Many times younger couples tend to let sexual attraction lead them.
This may be the case you you both going on cheating on each other…
The key for trying to get the relationship back on track is communication.
A quite conversation in a comfortable environment may be the first step in the right direction.
I dont have a boyfriend but there is this guy, and we’ve dated on and off again for about a year. He’s done with college now and is traveling back and forth between South Dakota and Oklahoma because he’s helping his family out in each of those places. The whole time he’s been gone, we’ve not talked maybe two weeks at the most. Before he left our college town, he stayed the night at my house and we talked. I told him that with him it’s a loved you once love you still always have and always will kind of thing and I didn’t want that. And he said he understood. I also told him that he became one of my best friends through the whole process and he agreed with me. The day he left, I said I love you kid and he said it back, kissed me on the lips, said goodbye and left. About a week later I had to meet him in a nearby town (he was passing right by it to go to OK) close to my parents house because he left a baler belt at a friends house in our college town and I was to drop it off with him. I met him there and told him I kinda lied about the “not wanting to love him” part. I do want to love him but than again I don’t depending on how things workout between us. He said “It’s not like I haven’t thought about it, but I’m not going back to college and I will be in OK.” I told him “Yeah but you never know.” and he said “You’re right, you never do.” Once again before he left, he kissed me. A few days ago, we were talking on the phone and he said the next time he was going to pass through the college town he was going to stay the night in a hotel in a town about 45 minutes north of our college town. I told him he could stay with me instead of paying money for a room. He said “That’s what I was thinking but I didn’t want to ask and I don’t like your roommate” (I can’t blame him because I don’t like my roommate either). Then a couple days ago, we were talking on facebook and the last thing he said to me was “I’m sorry but I have to go. My computer is daying, so I will talk to you later. I miss you kiddo.” I was raised to let the man call or text first, and each time we’ve talked, he’s been the one to start the conversations. What am I supposed to do or think?
hi..i love my girl too much,when i feel for her i nevr knew i wud b falling so deep for her,she too loves me a lot,but she nevr express it and it makes me feel m nt dat special,i want her to express her feeling as i know she really loves me a lot.how could i make her express her love yo me without hesitation..